In your mind
by DefiantFreedom
Summary: ModernAU. Taelor likes to pretend that he's just a regular guy, but he knows that he's not. Aside from the fact that he can't talk, he can also read minds. When he starts working at Arendelle Cafe he has no idea that he's going to meet someone just like him, but will the fact that he seems to understand her completely just scare Elsa away?
1. A new job

I looked at the café, somewhat dubiously. My brother waited impatiently, arms crossed. "See?" he said. "Job vacancy." I raised an eyebrow at him.

_Here? _He scowled.

"Yes, here! It says so right there!" I looked again at the notice in the window. It outlined the job, and the pay, with a number to call underneath, with the option to apply inside.

_Arendelle café, _I mused. _It seems a bit... _I paused.

"Too good to be true?"

_Yeah. _I glanced around the street. No one was giving us a second glance, which meant that no one had noticed a fairly important detail: I'm not speaking.

I've never been able to speak. Most people just assume that I had an accident or something, but no, I was just born that way. However, I do have one astounding gift: I can speak with my mind.

Only Jon knows about this. For everyone else it would just be too weird, too freaky. They'd feel like I was invading their privacy, but my gift doesn't work that way. Most of the time I just get this vague sense of what people are feeling, but if I want to, I can look deeper and find out what they're actually thinking. I don't do that very often, though, as it makes me feel uncomfortable – just think about what you think about sometimes, and I'm sure you'll think of something that you wouldn't want to hear from someone else's head – and because I get headaches if I do it too often.

Talking to people is easier. I've done that a couple of times to people that don't know me. They just think that it's their subconscious talking to them and being unusually clear, although they do look around first to see who's talking to them.

That's the main reason why I haven't got a job yet. I mean, I'm 19. I've left school, looked at a couple of colleges, etc., but I haven't got a job yet, and that's because of my 'speech impediment', as Jon calls it. Most places baulk at the idea of employing me when I can't talk to their customers.

Jon was obviously thinking along the same lines, because he glanced down at my pocket. "You got it?" he asked. I nodded and held up my phone. Jon worked inventing new apps, and he'd made one recently that let's me 'talk' to people. I typed into my phone what I wanted to say and the phone said it. I knew sign language too, but that's kind of useless as no one else does.

_It looks closed, _I objected. Jon peered at the café.

"No, it closes at six-thirty. Come on." He opened the door and stepped through. I sighed and followed him.

The café was pretty much empty inside, apart from a blonde and a redhead talking quietly at the back of the room. I followed Jon up to the bar, drawing the attention of the man behind it. He had short blond hair that was falling into his brown eyes and he was wearing a badge proclaiming that his name was Kristoff. He leaned casually against the bar.

"We're closing in ten minutes," he warned.

"We're here about the job," Jon replied. He looked us over.

"There's only one vacancy." Jon nodded.

"Yeah, I've got a job," he said, "it's Taelor that needs one." He looked at me.

"What, you couldn't come by yourself?" he asked. I grinned.

"_Call him my translator." _I typed, jerking my head at Jon.

"Ah." He looked faintly ashamed of himself. "Can't talk?" I shook my head. "Right. So, job's from Monday to Saturday, Sunday off, eight to six-thirty, but we close at four on a Saturday, $15 per hour. If you want the job, come by at opening time tomorrow and we'll try you out. You cook?"

"He's great at it," Jon said, answering for me and grinning.

"Good. See you tomorrow."

"_Fine by me."_

* * *

I looked up as Kristoff closed the café. "What was that about?" Anna called. He shrugged, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

"Some kid wanting the job," he answered, running a hand through his hair and yawning. Anna thought this through and nodded. His yawn was contagious and I took another sip of coffee to ward off mine. "What was his name?" she asked. Kristoff paused.

"Taelor, I think."

"Who was the other one?"

"His brother, I think. They looked pretty similar anyway."

"Did his brother want the job too?" I asked. Kristoff shook his head.

"No. Seems he can't talk." Anna gasped. I pauseed, my mug halfway to my mouth.

"Not at all?" I asked. Kristoff shrugged, looking embarrassed.

"I didn't ask," he confessed. I shrugged and resumed drinking my coffee. "I don't know how he'll work in the job. I mean, he will be in the kitchens, but..." he shrugged. "I just couldn't see him getting a job anywhere else." Anna nodded.

"I wonder what he's like," she said.

"I wonder how he got through school," I muttered.

School was a sore point for me. I was attending university at the moment and almost every day I was terrified that someone would discover my own particular curse. I glanced down at the table and the mug I was holding. I found myself doing that every so often, just checking that nothing had happened. Only Anna and Kristoff knew about it, but for anyone else it would just be too weird, too strange for them to accept. They'd be terrified of it. It was better that they don't know.

I tuned back into Anna and Kristoff's conversation, just in time to hear him say, "Well I'm exhausted. Are you both all right to make your own way home?" I smiled and finished my coffee.

"We'll be fine, Kristoff," Anna assured him.

"Yes," I said, "but only because _I'll _be driving." Kristoff chuckled and walked us to the car, or rather Anna. I ducked inside the car to give them a moment of privacy, and started the engine, tapping my gloved fingers on the wheel.

_What would it be like, _I wondered, _to not be able to talk?_


	2. Meeting Elsa

_Day One - Saturday_

I stared at the door to the café. Well, the back door. _Well, this is it._ I opened the door and went in, grinning nervously at Kristoff, who was waiting for me, and fished my phone out of my pocket. He smiled. "Welcome to Arendelle Café."

He led me round to the kitchens. I stared at the multitude of people working there, but, although the crowd terrified me, I could only feel welcome from their minds. "This is where you'll be working," he said, gesturing around and grabbing an apron for me. I put it on over my hoodie and tied the strings, feeling a bit ridiculous. _At least everyone else is wearing them, _I thought.

I glanced around nervously. No one was staring at me or whispering. It was kind of a new feeling. Speaking of feelings...

And there they came – the hopes, the worries, the fears – all crowding around me and clamouring for my attention. When I was a child it was too overwhelming, but I had learnt to ignore it by then and it only distracted me for a moment and then I was in control. There was a lot of curiosity about me, naturally, but no suspicion or pity. Pity is the worst I thought – the feeling that they were better than me just because they could speak and I cannot.

"Anna!" Kristoff called. A redhead looked up and ran over to us, grinning widely.

"You must be Taelor!" she said, smiling at me. I grinned back nervously. She grabbed my hand and pulled me over to a cooker. "Kristoff says that you already know how to cook, so I'll..." I tuned out as she continued chattering, finding it much easier to just follow the general line of her thoughts than to understand the avalanche of words that I was supposed to make sense of.

_Eggs and bacon_. I could cook eggs and bacon. "So you know what you're doing, yeah?" she asked nervously. I smiled, nodded and reached for an egg. She grinned as she got an idea. I could actually feel something click in her mind. "Wait there!" she squealed, running off to another part of the kitchen. I waited, standing there with an egg in my hand, and feeling stupid.

Soon enough Anna came back, a little boy bouncing along beside her. He felt so happy...I just couldn't believe it and stood there staring. He saw me and grinned. "Hi! My name's Olaf!" I grinned back, regaining control of myself.

"_Hi, my name's Taelor." _His eyes went wide.

"Your phone talks for you?" he gasped, delighted. I nodded.

"Olaf, I want you to help Taelor today, okay? It's his first day here and it's all a bit new for him," Anna said. Olaf grinned and hopped up onto a stool next to me.

"Cool," he said. "I can do that."

I suppressed a sigh. The kid was obviously hyper and his mind was buzzing with curiosity. As Anna vanished back into the kitchen, Olaf asked his first questions. "How old are you? Do you still go to school? Where do you live? Have you always wanted to work in a café?"

* * *

The lunch rush was just over and I was taking my first break of the morning, sipping a coffee and eating a bacon and egg baguette. Olaf was sitting next to me, having devoured his own lunch in seconds. He has realised that he could only ask one question at a time, but he hadn't quite realised that I could only answer yes or no with my phone in my pocket.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" he asked. I nodded.

"Sisters?" I shook my head.

"You have brothers?" he squealed. "How many? Hans had twelve brothers, you know. Do you have twelve brothers?" I shook my head. _Hans? Who the hell is he?_

"How many?" I held up one finger.

"Oh." He looked sad for a moment, but then brightened. "What's his name?" I sighed. "I know lots of names. Max? Mark? Alex? Joshua? Luke? Sean? Colin? Christopher?" I sighed again as he continued listing names. _This is going to be one long lunch break. _

I reached for my phone, but it wasn't in my pocket. I panicked, whirling around. Not at my workstation either. I glanced around the kitchen, momentarily distracted by Olaf tugging at my sleeve. "What's wrong?" he asked. _Oh hell. How do I tell him? _

Frantically I mimed typing into my phone. He didn't understand. "It's okay. I can guess your brother's name." I paused, really wishing that I could yell and then mimed writing something down. He grinned. "Good idea! Wait there!" he called, dashing off.

Five panic-filled minutes later and he appeared again, holding a notepad and pen. I grabbed them and scrawled across the paper, _I've lost my phone._ Olaf frowned.

"It's important?" he asked cautiously.

_Yes! I need it to talk to people!_

"You're talking to me fine," he objected.

_It takes too long and I need my phone for other reasons too. _He shrugged.

"Okay," he said, grinning. "It's like hide and seek, right?" He grabbed my hand, leading me through the kitchen. I shook my head, wondering why he was so weirdly happy all the time.

* * *

I went to Arendelle Café every day at this time. There was no point going any earlier because Anna wouldn't be able to talk to me because it was so busy at lunchtime. Leave it until one o'clock though, and it was much quieter.

I went in through the back door – everybody knew me there so no one objected. I exchanged nods with the kitchen staff, waiting for Anna. She appeared briefly in the doorway. "I'll be just one minute!" she shouted, disappearing again before I can reply. I smiled slightly and shook my head. Good to know that some things never change.

As I waited I let my gaze wander around the room, noticing what had changed since the last time I had been in there. I was normally at university during the day, and I had a job at the library in the evening, so the only time that I could really come was during the weekends and I had had too much work to do that recently. The day before had been an uncommon evening off, but Anna had persuaded me to go since it was my birthday. She had then sprung a surprise party on me. I was still astonished over how many people had shown up, and the sheer amount of chocolate that had I managed to eat.

As I gazed around, I noticed a phone sat on the side. I frowned and picked it up, wondering who had lost it. Just then Olaf burst through the door, dragging someone behind him. "Elsa!" he exclaimed. "You found it!"

"Found what?" I asked. Olaf skidded to a stop in front of me.

"Taelor's phone!" he said, as though it was obvious. I glanced at Taelor, guessing he was the boy from last night.

I didn't mean to stare at him, but I ended up doing so anyway. He was about my age and a couple of inches taller than me, but still not Kristoff's height. He was dressed casually in hoodie, jeans and scruffy trainers, and wearing a blue apron. He had long black hair that he was nervously brushing out of emerald green eyes. Very bright emerald eyes, in fact...

He looked at me searchingly and I snapped back into reality. "Here," I said, handing him back his phone. He smiled and typed something into it.

_"Thanks,"_ the phone said. I jumped, then smiled nervously.

"His phone talks, Elsa," Olaf said, jumping up and down. "Isn't it cool?"

"Certainly surprising," I muttered, faintly embarrassed.

* * *

I reluctantly followed Olaf through the kitchen to the back door. I had just about given up finding my phone and was instead drafting an apology to Jon in my head, when Olaf burst through the door. "Elsa!" he shouted. "You found it!"

I tuned out their conversation and focused on Elsa. She was a little shorter than me, I noticed, and she had long blonde hair in a plait over one shoulder and ice blue eyes. She was wearing a light blue blouse, smart black trousers, posh black boots and...gloves? In this weather?

I heard Olaf mention me and she glanced up, looking me up and down. I brushed my hair out of my eyes nervously and gave her a weak grin, suddenly conscious of my scruffy trainers and my fraying hoodie. She was dressed _perfectly. _

She held out my phone, snapping me out of my trance. I smiled, taking it and typing, "_Thanks." _She jumped at the voice coming out of my phone and seemed embarrassed when Olaf explained. I was trying to think of something to 'say' when Anna entered.

"Elsa, sorry I was so long. Taelor! I see you've met my sister. How is your first day?" I smiled politely and started typing, but she barely waited for my reply. "Did Olaf pester you too much?" she asked, glancing at him. I shook my head, but her attention was already diverted to Olaf, who was telling her all about me.

I winced as he went into a particularly detailed rendition of my epic cooking failure earlier – how was I supposed to know that it's practically impossible to flip two pancakes at once? – and glanced at Elsa. She was smiling gently at Olaf and Anna, patiently waiting for them to finish. She looked up and noticed me looking at her. I quickly typed a question.

"_Does he always talk this much?" _I asked. She smiled slightly, but I knew that she was taken aback by my question.

"Only when he meets someone interesting," she answered. I smiled.

"_So I'm just lucky then?" _

There it was again! I searched deeper, fascinated. Despite her smile she felt uncomfortable talking to me. _Is that because I'm me? _I wondered, _Or does she just generally feel uncomfortable talking to people, like I do? _

* * *

Anna stood up and noticed our conversation, but unusually for her, she was tactful and didn't mention it. "Come on then, Elsa!" she said, linking her arm with mine. "Let's go shopping!" I smiled apologetically at Taelor, and not just out of politeness. I was uneasy talking to him, but I was also interested. He was so different to everyone else.

Anna smiled mischievously at me as we left the café. "So," she said. "What did he say?" I shrugged.

"He was asking about Olaf," I replied.

"And...?"

"And nothing. That was it."

"Of course it was," she laughed. "Come on, Elsa, I know you. You like him, don't you?"

"He's interesting," I said defensively, before realising that I had just admitted that I liked him.

"Very handsome," Anna said.

"I didn't notice," I replied.

"Lovely jade-green eyes."

"They were more emerald, I thought." I groaned as she laughed again. "Let's just go shopping," I said, feeling myself blush, and walking faster. Anna ran to catch up, laughing the whole while.


	3. A word of warning

_Day Two - Monday_

I grinned at Olaf. He grinned back, holding his mop at the ready. I didn't know how we had ended up doing the cleaning, but we were making more of a mess than cleaning up.

It was all Olaf's fault, and I was going to stick to that story like glue, never mind the fact that I was supposed to be the responsible adult. I'd been cleaning when he had challenged me to a mop duel. "_En garde," _I had replied. After explaining what that meant, I'd charged at him with the mop.

"Ready?" he asked.

"_To win, yes," _I answered, putting my phone back in my pocket. He whooped and ran at me, waving the mop. I ducked and backed away, the infectious joy from Olaf making my grin even wider. I waved my own mop at him and lunged forwards. He yelped and ran back. "You'll never win!" he shouted. I grinned, stepped forwards, and...

_Oh hell, _I thought, as my foot slid out from underneath me. I hit the ground hard, knocking the breath out of me. I lay there for a minute, blinking at the ceiling. Olaf leant over me, worried. "Are you okay?" he whispered. I nodded, grabbing my phone.

"_Okay? When am I ever not okay?" _He grinned.

"Good!" He laughed and tapped me on the chest with his mop. "I win!" he exclaimed in delight. I raised my eyebrows.

"_Help me up, then." _

I grinned at him again, helpless to stop. It could be really hard sometimes, feeling what everyone else feels. I couldn't go to a hospital or an old people's home and sometimes just walking down the street could really take it out of me, especially if it was a dreary day or something terrible had happened on the news. Grief is one of the worst feelings, next to betrayal, fear and guilt. I think the worst part was that I couldn't _do_ anything. Of course, I could ease a child's fear or lessen hatred, and it wouldn't affect me all that much, but again there's that issue of privacy.

And it means less if you tamper with emotions. Like grief. You can't just erase someone's grief, because then it's as though they don't care that that person has died, and they do. I can't just stop someone from feeling guilty, because we feel guilt for a reason. If we didn't feel guilty then there wouldn't be anything to stop us from hurting others. So I just have to bear it.

Love is the worst. How someone cares so deeply for another, it makes my heart ache for them. Mostly it's because the other person doesn't love them back or the other person's love isn't as strong, but if it is true love, and if they do care so much, then...well no one lives forever...

That's why I liked Olaf so much. To him everything was just wonderful and I couldn't help grinning at the feelings pouring out of him. Add to that Anna's bubbly personality, and you'd need a heart of ice to feel unhappy around there.

"_Come on,"_ I 'said' to Olaf. "_We'd better actually get some cleaning done." _He nodded.

"Yeah. Kristoff will be pretty upset if we leave it like this." I glanced around. Only a few chairs were knocked over. I started to straighten them, leaving Olaf in charge of the mops. He started humming to himself. "Ice has a magic, can't be controlled, stronger than one! Stronger than ten! Stronger than a hundred – Elsa!"

I jumped. _Elsa? _Then I saw her standing in the doorway and smiled sheepishly. She glanced around the room, trying to stop the uneasiness she felt. The corners of her lips twitched up when she saw the mess, amusement sparking in her mind. She looked at me, eyebrow raised. Olaf grinned. "We had a mop fight, Elsa!" he announced. I pulled out my phone.

"_It was totally his fault." _Olaf nodded proudly.

"It was my idea," he agreed. That time she smiled properly.

"I wouldn't be so sure," another voice said. "He manages to get into enough trouble on his own." I looked up and saw Jon standing behind Elsa. "Thought I'd give you a lift," he explained. I nodded.

_I'll just be a minute, _I told him, belatedly adding a few hand actions in sign language. He nodded.

"That's cool. I'll wait."

Olaf stared at him. "How did you know what Taelor meant?" he asked. Jon grinned and bent down.

"Ah, you see, Taelor has a secret power," he said seriously. I paused in my cleaning and looked at Jon. _He is not going to make a joke of my powers, is he?_ "He can read minds," Jon continued in a spooky voice. I sighed. _Yeah, he is. _Olaf gasped, awe-struck, believing every word. Elsa, however was more sceptical.

"You know sign language?" she asked. I nodded.

"_Learnt it a long time ago." _I could tell that she was interested, even though she was maintaining a look of distant politeness. "_Of course, it's just a cover," _I added, thinking that if Jon could joke about my powers then so could I.

"A cover?" she asked, confused.

"_Yeah." _I grinned. "_A cover for my super-secret telepathic powers." _She smiled, distracted by Olaf and Jon.

I took the opportunity to study her more closely, scrubbing industriously at the floor. She was amused, yes, and fond of Olaf, glad that Jon got on with him, and interested by me (I tried to ignore how glad I felt that she was noticing me), but under it all, she was uncomfortable.

Uneasy.

Almost..._scared._

Not scared of me or Jon or anything tangible, but scared of people? No, scared of being with people. Of talking to them, of being in the same room as them. Scared that she'll...hurt us?

I was jolted back into reality by Jon calling out to me. "Isn't that right?" I raised my eyebrow.

_Huh?_

"I said, isn't it true that I made that app on your phone?" I waved the item in question.

"'_Course it's true." _Olaf jumped up and down.

"Can you make an app about snow?" Next to me Elsa froze.

"Snow?" Jon sounded puzzled.

"Yeah, an app to make it snow. I love snow!" Elsa was still barely breathing, fear screaming from her mind. I didn't understand, but I didn't dare ask her or look deeper into her mind.

"Sorry," Jon said. "But I can't do that. I do have an app to predict when snow will fall, though."

I glanced surreptitiously at Elsa as I cleaned. Her fear had gone down, but she was still panicking, and I knew that she wanted us out. She didn't want to be in the same room as us any longer, and before she could take action, I did.

"_Okay, Jon that's about it," _I 'said', yawning theatrically. He nodded. Olaf groaned.

"Do you have to go already?" he complained. Jon glanced at me.

_Yes, _I answered, glancing at Elsa, who was practically hyperventilating at the thought of us staying.

"Sorry," Jon said. "Tell you what, I'll come and pick Taelor up tomorrow too, okay? But right now we need to get home." Elsa snapped out of her trance.

"We need to get back as well," she said to Olaf.

"Okay..." he sighed, dragging out the word.

With Olaf pacified I said goodbye to Elsa – who was so focused on something else that she barely even noticed me – and followed Jon to the car. I waved to Olaf as we drove off, smiling as he ran beside the car for a few moments.

* * *

"Sweet kid," he said. I waited. "And that Elsa's a real beauty too, isn't she?" I sighed.

_Spit it out, _I told him. He glanced at me, eyebrows raised. _Something has been bothering you. _He sighed.

"Elsa," he said finally. "That's what's been bothering me. What exactly happened back there?" I ran a hand through my hair.

_I don't know, _I admitted. _We were talking fine – I even made a joke – but then she just froze. She just wanted us out of there, just gone. She was suddenly panicking and I couldn't tell what about._

"Why not?" Jon asked. I sighed in frustration.

_Her head was screaming, Jon. I could barely listen to it, let alone dig deeper to find the cause._

Jon drove silently for a minute. "I want you to stay away from her," he said abruptly.

_What?_ I stared at him. He glanced at me briefly, trying to give me a stern look while driving.

"I'm serious," he said. "I don't know what it is, but she's bad news, Tae. I know you like her – "

_I do not! _I protested.

"But please just stay away," Jon continued, like I hadn't even spoken. "Something scared her back there, and I don't know what it was. I don't want to know what could terrify her like that. If just being around us scares her, then something is very wrong, either with her, or with us. I don't want to risk her finding out about you." I stared at him.

_You think that's what it was? _I asked finally.

"You don't?" I was silent for a moment.

_No, I don't. _Jon tried to interrupt, but I just carried on. _No, listen to me! When you were talking about mindreading she thought it was a load of rubbish. She can't know._

"She could be hiding it from you," Jon argued.

_She couldn't. You can't fake what you think. She is hiding something – I agree with you there – something that affects her every day, but something so integral to who she is that she doesn't even think about it – _

"You seem to be spending a lot of time in her thoughts," Jon said, glancing at me sideways. I scowled, trying not to break something in frustration.

_She's hurt, Jon! I can't just not do anything! It's part of who I am, it's the whole reason that I don't hate this flipping 'gift' of mine – that I can help people, that I can fix what goes wrong in their minds! She's hurt and she's scared and it's affecting everyone she knows, and you can't just ask me to not do anything about it!_ Jon winced, but said nothing. I glared at him and then turned and stared out of the window for the rest of the journey.

When we parked, I got out quickly and slammed the door. "Taelor!" Jon called. I waited, not turning around. He ran up behind me. "Please, Taelor, I just don't want you getting hurt," he begged. I didn't move. "Is it so hard to just leave her alone? Please, just forget about her. We can find you another job." I turned to look at him then.

His mind was screaming at me, telling me he just wanted to keep me safe, and to please just forget about this Elsa, to just stay safe and not get hurt. Jon had always known how to use my talent against me. "Just don't interfere, for once."

_I help, not interfere, and I can't not do it. Not ever. Not even for you._

I turned and opened the door, climbing the stairs to my apartment. Jon didn't move. He just stood there in the gathering darkness, watching me silently.


	4. So this is what they all call love

_Day Three – Tuesday_

I scowled as I drove to the café, still furious that Anna had decided that we needed to swap roles suddenly. Why did she have to take Olaf to school? I was perfectly good at it.

You see, we had adopted Olaf a couple of years ago (the one time that it was me acting impulsively) and since then I'd always driven him to school and picked him up afterwards, taking him to Arendelle Café so that I could go to my evening job and then Anna would take him home from there. It worked, and it made sense, and there was no need to change it.

Until it didn't work any more apparently. Anna had decided to switch it around, so that she took Olaf to school and I picked him up from Arendelle Café, which was a totally stupid idea that messed with everyone's schedule.

I sighed, waiting at the lights. Of course, I hadn't been able to argue with her, had I? No, that's me: Elsa the 'Ice Queen', feared throughout college and the library for my non-existent temper and cold logic, a complete pushover when it came to Anna or Olaf.

After shutting her out for 13 years, there was no whim of hers that I wouldn't agree to, even if it annoyed the hell out of me.

I pulled up outside the café and slammed the door of the car, following a familiar sound of giggles. "Your turn!" Olaf shouted. "Your turn!" I turned the corner and stopped in shock.

The entire kitchen, and I mean the _entire _kitchen, was covered in icing sugar and Olaf was sat in the middle, also covered in icing sugar. The reason why soon became apparent. Taelor was crouching down in front of him, smiling. "Your turn," Olaf urged. Taelor sighed and fell over backwards, waving his arms and legs. I stared.

They were making icing sugar angels. I stared for a moment longer, and then burst out laughing. Olaf and his insistent questions! He was always begging me to 'make a snowman', as Anna had. Taelor sat up, guiltily, and I noticed that he had icing sugar in his hair.

I laughed again, the mess of icing sugar and the hopeless adorableness of the both of them chasing away dark memories of Anna's wishes to build a snowman.

* * *

_Day Four – Wednesday_

I saw Elsa at the café again today. I wasn't playing with Olaf this time, because I had a doctor's appointment (happens once every month, they check my voice, or rather, lack of a voice) and I saw her car pull away as I was getting in Jon's car (I didn't have a car yet and he'd offered to drive me).

Olaf saw me and waved enthusiastically. I waved back. Elsa glanced at me and smiled, waving briefly. I felt a huge grin work it's way onto my face when I felt how happy Olaf was to see me, even though we'd been talking only five minutes ago, and Elsa wasn't unhappy to see me either.

I sat down in the car, grinning at Jon. He shook his head. He still wasn't sure about Elsa, but I'd managed to persuade him to leave it be for the moment, which was great as he'd stopped annoying me about it.

I normally hate doctor's appointments, but I couldn't stop grinning all the way there, and whistling along to the songs on the radio (which prompted Jon to turn it off – I'm terrible at keeping in tune).

* * *

_Day Five – Thursday_

I'd told Anna that I couldn't pick Olaf up today. I had a work assignment that I had to finish. Thankfully it was English, not Art. Art takes me ages, because I try to focus on doing it right, but English can be dashed off in a few seconds.

I flipped through my notebook, ticking carious completed assignments, and stopped. _Oh great. _Poetry. I'd forgotten that we were doing poetry. I looked at the poem in question which I had to analyse, in near disgust.

I'm not generally dead set against poetry, but my English professor insisted on always doing love poetry, and then making us write our own and _read then to the class. _I shuddered. I'd very nearly iced the room on those occasions, and had had to call in sick the last time that it happened. I heard a rumour later which said that half the class had also called in sick. Mysteriously enough the professor had stopped giving us those assignments.

Instead we just had to analyse poetry to death, a terrible fate for those of us who actually enjoy it. I sighed again. _Time to get it over with, Elsa._

So this is what they all call love

The helpless feeling in the heart

That reaches down into your soul

And rips the world apart?

The sudden stutter in my voice

My hands are shaking still!

I never knew the thousand ways

A gentle smile could kill.

And such the way you looked at me –

It is beyond my art –

To tell you true what I felt there

When your eyes caught my heart

I picked up my pen. _Right. Begin with rhyme scheme..._

For a few moments all the noise I could hear was the sound of my pen scritching on the paper and the lines of poetry in my head. Somehow my professor had managed to choose a halfway decent one.

Then I heard Olaf knock on the door. "Elsa," he called. "I know you're working, but Anna had to stay at the café and – "

"What?" I interrupted, standing up in a rush. "Did you come by yourself?" I asked, striding to the door, and mentally writing a speech to deliver to Anna later for being so irresponsible.

"No," Olaf said. I opened the door, about to ask who had brought him here then, but someone else answered.

"_I did," _Taelor said.

* * *

I smiled nervously at Elsa, aware of the fact that she was in complete and utter shock; even as she welcomed me inside and offered me a coffee, something inside her was panicking. "I wanted to show Taelor my drawings of the snowmen," Olaf called, running towards his bedroom, leaving me with an increasingly agitated Elsa.

Desperate for something to distract her, I glanced around the room, my gaze settling on some poetry on the table. "_You're studying poetry?" _I asked. She nodded.

"And Art."

"_Which college do you go to?"_

"I attend Southharbour University," came the stiff reply. I winced. Way to offend the most beautiful girl in the room. She smiled, and I felt something in her mind relax. "Do you attend college or university?" she asked. I shook my head.

"_Neither. Couldn't face it," _I admitted. "_At my school, everyone knew about me, you know? Most of the kids in my classes knew sign language and everyone was used to making way for me, but at a college..." _I shrugged. "_There wasn't really anything that I wanted to study anyway. My language teacher almost exploded when he heard that I wasn't going to continue studying, but it's for the best." _Elsa nodded sadly, and I felt that my words had struck a chord for her.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. You were good at languages?" I nodded.

"_Did French, German and fast track Spanish for GCSE's and French and German for A level. Jon thought that I was mad when I told him." _She laughed. I grinned. "_I was good at maths as well. I took Further Maths for A level." _She raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"_Oh yeah. Jon was ready to call an asylum by that point. He coasted through with Cs in everything but computer studies, see. Working hard is just weird to him." _

At this point Olaf rushed back in. "See?" he said, waving a piece of paper. "This is my best one," he added proudly, holding it out. I exchanged a smile with Elsa as we both acted appropriately impressed by Olaf's drawing. As we did, I noticed that she wasn't wearing gloves.

* * *

After Taelor left I was a wreck. I sat down at my desk again, Olaf playing some game behind me that involved cars and trucks and lots of crashes. I put my head in my hands, trying to get myself under control.

I couldn't believe that I had been so stupid! I'd let my guard down badly, and everything could have gone wrong because of it. What if Taelor had noticed the frost creeping across the table? Or the way the door handle froze when I opened it? I sighed, trying very hard not to face the part of me that had wanted to break down and tell him everything.

That was ridiculous. No, it was stupid. Anna accepted it, yes, but she was like Olaf – so convinced that my powers would never hurt her, despite the evidence to the contrary. Yes, Kristoff also accepted it, but he loved Anna, and he had never seen the full extent of my powers, the damage and destruction that I could wreak. But then again, no one had.

There was something about Taelor, though, something that made me believe that he would be like Anna and Kristoff and Olaf; that he would accept me and trust me, and never reject me for my powers. Something that made me think that he understood me, even the deeply hidden parts of me.

_No!_ I shook my head. I couldn't go on thinking like this. Taelor would never accept my powers, and I just needed to forget whatever it was about his smile and his serious emerald eyes that made him stick in my head.

I picked up my pen and returned to the poem. "_I never knew the thousand ways/A gentle smile could kill." _I smiled mirthlessly, Taelor's smile in my mind. _How apt_.


	5. A nightmare

_Day Six – Friday_

I whistled to myself as I wiped down the tables. This was a good day for me. Seeing Elsa last night had put me in the sort of good mood that you only ever hear of in stories. The way she had smiled at me had almost stopped my heart and I'm pretty sure that hers stuttered when I smiled back. Sure, she'd panicked at the beginning, but I was definitely making progress!

Of course, I wasn't entirely sure what I was progressing towards. Asking her out on a date? Ha. Elsa was way out of my league, and I knew it, but that didn't stop me daydreaming of quiet hours spent in a café or bookshop, talking about nothing in particular and everything important.

I snorted at myself as I went back into the kitchen to collect my mop and bucket, knowing that I was kidding myself. I'd seen her apartment. Sure, she shared it with Anna and Olaf, but it was easily twice the size of mine, if not more. She was studying at university, whereas I was a failure, working at a café just to keep myself afloat, literally surviving from week to week.

I stopped as I heard a familiar voice from behind me. "Olaf?" Elsa called. I turned. "Oh! Taelor, have you seen Olaf?" Elsa asked, running a hand through her hair, and looking frazzled. "I swear I turned around for five minutes, and then he wandered off, and I'm going to be late back to work. I've only got a little while to get him back home, and Anna's there – she's ill – so she can help with his homework, but now he's gone – "

I held up my hands to stop the flow of words, frantically digging in my pocket for my phone. "_You're picking him up, right?" _I asked. She nodded.

"Yes, but – "

"_Then he's got to be here. I'll take him to yours after work and help him with his homework. He's only nine, right? It'll be easy." _She paused, torn between conflicting duties. I could almost feel them pulling her apart.

"You're sure?" she asked. I nodded.

"_I've borrowed Jon's car for the day and he can't have gone far. Don't worry. He'll be fine."_

"Okay." She turned and rushed to the door. "I should be back by eight," she called, "but Anna's at home, and – "

"_Don't worry! We'll manage. You need to get to work!" _She nodded again and rushed out.

I grinned and sauntered through the kitchen, mop over my shoulder, whistling to myself as I went. Yep, definitely a good day today.

* * *

_Day Seven – Saturday 3:30am_

I jolted awake, a scream stuck in my throat. I sat up, my hands clawing at the sheets, desperately trying to find enough air. _Just a dream, _I told myself. _It was only a dream. _The screaming panic that was spreading ice across my room wasn't helped when I heard a distinctive knock on the door.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked worriedly, through my door. I took a deep breath, willing the panic away. "Elsa?" I could hear the fear in her voice now. _Answer her you idiot!_

"I – I'm okay," I stuttered, taking another breath. I could hear Anna's sigh of relief from the other side of the door. "You can come in," I added, seeing that the ice had mostly melted.

That was the one thing that I was strictest about. Anna could spend as much money as she wanted (within reason), could go to various parties held by people I didn't know (as long as she didn't stay too late, and promised to be sensible), but she couldn't ever come into my room when I didn't have control of my ice.

The door handle turned and Anna peered through the door sleepily. "You okay?" she asked again.

"Yes. I just..." I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "had a bad dream." She nodded, coming and sitting on the end of my bed.

"What about?" I bit my lip and turned away slightly, all the answer that she needed. "Oh."

You see, I had one other rule – only ever the truth about something that matters. Anna had negotiated that to include my nightmares/worries/fear of my power, and she knew that I would never lie to her about that, but that didn't mean that I wanted to tell her, either.

She moved closer and took my hand. "Freezing me again?" she asked quietly.

"Yes." My reply was practically a whisper. Anna said nothing, only held my hand tighter. She didn't need to say anything.

She'd forgiven me for freezing her a long time ago, as well as forgiving me for the...incident when we were children, whilst being horrified and guilty at everything I had done to keep her safe, but she knew that I hadn't forgiven myself yet. Needless to say, Anna didn't understand that, but whenever she said that I would counter by asking if she had forgiven herself for Hans, who had got me arrested for a whole night and half of the next day, leaving Anna to try and get me out, with the help of Kristoff, whilst in the process of freezing solid. Then she would fall silent and we wouldn't mention the issue until my next nightmare.

I sighed and shook my head to clear away the dark memories. No point inviting the nightmares. I smiled at her. "I'm okay, Anna," I said quietly, squeezing her hand. "You ought to get back to bed."

"Are you sure that you'll be fine?" she asked, reluctantly getting up. I smiled, waving away her worries.

"Of course I will be," I replied. "It's only a nightmare. They don't have such a hold over me any more." Anna smiled.

"Good," she said, giving me a hug and skipping out of the room.

As soon as she was gone my smile slipped from my face, and I let the ice steal across my room again. I took a shaky breath. I hadn't technically lied to her... I paused and checked what I had said. No, I hadn't lied to her.

I _would _be fine, I just wasn't right now.

It _had _been just a nightmare, but that didn't mean that it didn't affect me.

True, they didn't leave me a shivering wreck as they had in the thirteen years when we had been separated, but that didn't mean that I could just shrug them off.

I took a shuddering breath, listening intently for the click of Anna's door closing. As soon as I was reasonably sure that she was asleep then I could slip out and start doing some research for class, never mind the fact that I had only got it the day before and it wasn't due in for another week and it was two in the morning.

It would take my mind off of my dream, and right now I really needed to forget the sight of Anna freezing in front of me, the look of betrayal on her face at my 21st birthday when my powers were revealed, and the condemnations of my parents. Of course, my parents had loved me very much, and had never (to my knowledge) called me a murderer or a monster, but then nightmares never follow the lines of reason.

I sighed and eased out of bed. Time to go and lose myself in work, as I had so many times before. Aside from telling myself to 'conceal, not feel', it was the only thing that suffocated the dark thoughts that still lurked constantly, just waiting for one moment when my guard was down to bombard me with doubts and fears.

I gently eased open the door, and caught sight of Olaf's homework on the kitchen table. I had been honestly astonished when I had come home to find it completed. I frowned, thinking back on it. Recently something about Taelor had been irritating me. I shrugged. I hadn't known him all that long, really, so it wasn't surprising that I didn't know anything about him, even if he –

I frowned. Anna had mentioned him at dinner yesterday, after he had gone. In fact, our conversation had pretty much revolved around him. Olaf practically hero worshipped him, and Kristoff was impressed by him. Anna was still intending to make us a couple and had been reading far more into his actions than what was actually there.

Even if he did understand me really well, and had somehow managed to invade every corner of my life – which was actually really strange now I thought about it. I had only known him for about a week, and I already thought that he understood me really well? My slight unease morphed into dread. He couldn't know, could he? I shook my head. No, there was no way that he could know.

I sat down at my computer. Time to get my dream, and thoughts of Taelor, out of my head.

* * *

I grinned, flipping another pancake in the frying pan. Life was looking good. I'd spent an hour and a half at Elsa's last night and how shocked she had looked when Olaf had presented her with his completed homework had been truly amazing, and today was Saturday, so Arendelle café closed at four and I had band practice until eight (I play guitar). Yes, today was another good day.

I slid the last pancake onto the plate, waved at one of the waiters and grinned. 3: 45. No more cooking today. No, today was all music, especially because Jon had lent me his car again. Perhaps I could escape fifteen minutes early–

I frowned and looked at my pocket. I was sure I'd put my keys there. I checked my other pockets. _Oh dear. Jon is going to kill me. _I wandered through the kitchen, keeping an eye on every surface in an attempt to find my keys.

My head snapped around as I detected Elsa's thoughts – she was upset about something. A nightmare? I frowned and walked towards her, not knowing exactly what I could do to comfort her, but determined to try.

I never got my chance. She looked around for Olaf, spotted me and hurried her sister and Olaf out. I frowned. It had definitely been me that had driven her away, but why?

* * *

Olaf protested that he wanted to talk to Taelor, but I couldn't help myself. After all of my thoughts last night, all of my worries about him understanding me more than I did, I just couldn't face him.

As I drove away, Olaf filled me in on what had happened at the café that day, and I fought back tears. After everything Anna had done, after everything I had worked for, I was still shutting people out, and it made me feel like such a coward.


	6. Wishing for a gift

_Day Eight – Sunday _

I wandered around the town, my hands in my pockets. I was in a foul mood; I'd snapped at Jon because he'd stayed over – he'd got completely drunk on Saturday and hadn't been in any condition to drive – and had been bemoaning the bad decisions that had lead him to have a hangover. He'd given me a faintly injured look which had turned into an understanding one and then he'd retreated to his room, leaving me feeling even worse. I'd much have preferred an argument.

I was jolted out of my thoughts when I walked into a someone. I glanced up, my phone appearing in my hand. "I'm sorry," he said, grinning sheepishly. I grinned and waved my hand, indicating that all was well. He nodded distractedly, and I noticed that his mind was drenched in tears.

"_You okay?"_

"What? Huh?" He looked up. "Yeah, I'm good." I probed a little deeper into his mind. _Ah. _An argument with his dad. I paused, driven by a desire to help. He'd wandered off and I surreptitiously followed.

I didn't want to probe into his mind too deeply, but that curious drive to help was still there, and I couldn't stop myself. His mind was screaming anyway; full of guilt and shame and regret. I glanced at the people on the street, wondering how they couldn't hear it.

I paused for a moment longer, and then gently voiced a small thought in his mind. _I was right, but...he wasn't wrong. _That seemed to be received well, so I decided that I could venture a little further.

I pretended to look in a window, admiring various works of art, as I planted another thought. _I am being too lazy. I shouldn't spend all of my time out with my friends._

_They're not my kind of people anyway, _he thought, surprising me.

_I can find better friends, _I hazarded. To my shock he was in complete agreement. He seemed to take a deep breath and then he straightened and squared his shoulders.

_I need to go and apologise – explain. _He nodded to himself and turned back the way he had come, determined to put things right, or at least try.

He didn't even notice me. I grinned, a strange feeling of triumph buzzing through my head. Finally, my gift was actually a _gift. _

* * *

_Day Nine – Monday _

I stayed in my room, feeling terrible. I'd been feeling tired Saturday night and had gone to bed early, and woken up today unable to get out of bed. Whenever I sneezed or coughed snow and ice covered the room, which meant that I was completely alone. Anna had stayed for a few minutes, but had left when her presence just agitated me even more. She'd insisted that I'd never hurt her, but I knew that I had before and I'd quoted my rule about not being in command of my powers. Yes, she'd pouted a bit, but she'd agreed to leave.

I sneezed again, reaching for a tissue and sighed when it froze solid in my hands. I sniffed and looked mournfully around my ice-covered room. _Just once, _I thought, _I wish that this curse could be useful. Could be helpful. Could be the gift that it is meant to be._

Oh, I could build snowmen with Olaf and I saved on heating in the winter and fans in the summer, but apart from that, what good was it really? I'd hurt Anna twice, hell, I'd almost _killed_ Anna twice, and I was living in fear of my powers and how I could hurt people.

I snorted. Okay, maybe I wasn't living in fear; I'd done that for 13 years and I knew what it felt like, but sometimes, usually around 12 at night or 3 in the morning, when my nightmares were keeping me awake, or when my powers forced me to break off another friendship, shut out someone else out, that was when I believed the voices in my nightmares.

That was when I believed that my father could have thought of me as monster.

That was when I thought that I was too dangerous to be around.

That was when I wished that I could just run away again.

I'd tried that once, and it hadn't ended well with the police coming and arresting me, but I'd felt so _free! _Free of never-ending expectations and responsibilities and fears. Free to just be myself, without hurting anyone.

I sighed and rolled over, feeling the old feelings of guilt again. Of course, I hadn't even been able to do that. I couldn't just leave Anna, not when I knew that she needed me so much.

I'd never been able to figure out why my bubbly, optimistic sister thought that she needed me, but even I couldn't deny it. She needed someone to keep an eye on her. Yes, Kristoff was there, but he was a complete pushover when it came to Anna, and the amount of scrapes the two of them got into...

Anna needed someone to look out for her, to pick up after her. Someone who could remember to pay the bills. Someone who knew that chocolate didn't replace vegetables. If Anna had to do that herself then...she wouldn't be Anna any more. That essential part of her would have died, and I knew that I could never let that happen to her.

I closed my eyes, trying to find some inner strength to keep going; the kind that Anna seemed to find far too easily. And I failed.

I loved Anna far too much to give up, but I hated and feared this curse of mine too much to keep going.

I sighed. I had no idea what I was going to do. I just knew that living like this was tearing me apart.


	7. What have I done?

_Day Ten – Tuesday_

I felt terrible the next morning, and Anna only confirmed that opinion by dropping the plate she was holding when I walked in. "Elsa!" she gasped. "You shouldn't be out of bed yet." I tried to smile.

"I'm fine, Anna, really." She raised an eyebrow.

"You need to get back in bed. I'll get you something to eat. Honestly! You could have just _told _me that you were hungry, you know." I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry." Which was an understatement – the thought of eating made me feel sick.

"Then why are you up?" she demanded. Then her eyes narrowed. "If you think that you're going to class today, then you are mistaken. You're in no condition to go anywhere!" I sighed as she continued to ramble on.

"I've missed a day already," I said tiredly. "I need to catch up on what I've missed, and I need to go to work today."

"Elsa! You can't go to work! Even us talking is tiring you out!" I sighed.

"We need the money, Anna," I said patiently. "Besides, I can't just not go to work because I'm feeling a bit under the weather – I have a job to do."

"You can't do your job if you're ill," Anna insisted stubbornly.

"I'm fine! I'll be even better in a couple of hours! You can't base an illness off of a lack of appetite."

"Hah! You couldn't even get out of bed yesterday!"

"And today I'm fine!"

"Yeah, right! Just because you're all 'snow and ice' powers doesn't mean that you're invincible. You can still get ill! You are ill! If you try to carry on the way you are, you're going to end up in hospital!"

"Elsa?" We both looked around to see Olaf in the doorway, holding onto the cuddly reindeer toy that Kristoff had given him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Olaf," I said, smiling at him. "Anna's just worrying over nothing."

"Nothing!" she snorted. "Why don't you go get ready for school, Olaf? I'll make sure Elsa's okay." He paused, then nodded, and closed the door. As soon as he did I turned on Anna in rare fury.

"There was no need for that!" I said, almost snarling. "You'll just worry him more."

"Worry him more? Elsa, you look terrible! He's already worried!"

"You didn't have to imply that something was wrong!"

"Something is wrong!"

"No it's not! You don't have to shut him out–"

"_I'm_ shutting him out?" Now Anna was angry too. "You're the one that's shutting everyone else out, Elsa! You're always shutting me out – you're doing it now!"

"I am not! Just because you chose to make a big deal over nothing doesn't mean that I'm hiding something!"

"You're always hiding something. You're so afraid of anyone else finding out about you that you're shutting out those of us who already know about you!"

"I'm used to hiding it, Anna. I have to!"

"That's not my fault!" I paused.

"I never said it was." She snorted.

"Oh no. You're always trying to blame yourself for everything, but you clearly do blame me! You never use your powers any more because you're so afraid that I'm going to do something stupid–"

"I'm trying to protect you and Olaf!"

"Yes, because you're so good at it! You've nearly killed me twice! Really good protection there, Elsa!"

"Then I have all the more reason for not doing it again!"

"So stay inside! Get better! Or I'll start thinking that you really do want to kill yourself!"

"What?" I was shocked out of my rage. "What do you mean?"

"Oh don't play dumb, Elsa." I stared at Anna in confusion. This was so unlike her. "You must have known when Hans aimed that gun at you, but you didn't do anything! You just waited! I was the one that he shot at! Good thing I was frozen, huh?"

"I didn't need to do anything! You've just said that my ice is bulletproof."

"You weren't doing anything! Your ice might be bulletproof, but you're not!"

"I thought you had died!" I shouted. "I thought I had killed you! I didn't have a reason to stop him shooting! I thought I'd finally become the monster that Mother and Father always feared that I'd be!"

"Why would you think any differently now? You did freeze me! What changed, Elsa?" I stumbled to a halt, lost for words. Because nothing had changed. Anna nodded.

"You're still scared you'll hurt someone. You're still trying to blame yourself for everything, and you're working way too hard. You never got ill before! You think I haven't noticed how tired you're getting? You're trying to do too much to atone for the wrong that you never did! And you're so busy trying to do that that you never noticed me noticing!"

"That doesn't change anything! I'm the only one with a real job, so I need to get the money from it!"

I regretted the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. The look of hurt and betrayal on Anna's face cut into my heart more deeply than I would ever admit. "I...I'm sorry, Anna...I didn't think," I mumbled, but she wasn't listening.

"Fine!" she shouted. "Go!" She was crying now, and each tear only drove my guilt deeper. "And when you collapse from doing too much, don't come knocking on my door! You lost the right to do that long ago!" She turned and marched out of the kitchen. I stood, one hand on the table holding me up and the other stretched out to Anna.

_What have you done? _My father's voice from fourteen years ago echoed in my head. I shook my head slowly, tears trickling down my cheeks, my hand covering my mouth in horror.

What had I done?


	8. Like Me

_Tuesday – Later _

I sat on the park bench, my eyes fixed on the ground. I didn't know how long it had been since I'd sat down, but whatever had shattered inside me still hadn't fixed itself.

After Anna had left so dramatically I'd stood in the kitchen for another indeterminable amount of time, hardly realising what I'd said. When the actual truth had come crashing down on me, I ran.

I left our apartment and had wandered the streets, until coming here, to this park bench, where I had sat, and was still sitting. There was no one else around, so I could have taken off my gloves and covered the place in snow and ice. But I didn't. I'd become too used to concealing during my thirteen years of isolation to realise that a snowstorm might help.

_How could I have said that? _I'd managed to imply that she had a useless job and was dependent on me, and I'd insulted Kristoff because he owned Arendelle Café.

_Why did I say that?_

That was the question that kept me on the bench as though I was frozen in place. Anna's words had hurt. She'd basically said that she thought that I was suicidal, that I was working far too much, that I wasn't aware of when I needed to stop, that I blamed myself for everything and she'd mentioned the...incident with my powers. Both of them.

The fact that most of it was true hadn't stopped me from hurting. And because I was hurting, I had wanted to hurt her.

I knew that Anna was ashamed of her small income, and the fact that her boisterous nature tended to put off potential employers, and I'd spent lots of nights convincing her that it didn't matter, even though I had to work harder because of it.

But I had wanted to hurt her, and I'd known exactly where to strike.

And the thought that I had wanted to hurt Anna, the very thing which I had locked myself up for thirteen years to prevent, made me feel even worse. All that effort I had put into not hurting Anna, and I had failed.

Again.

* * *

I was walking home when I heard the familiar sound of Elsa's mind. All minds feel different. Anna's was bright and warm and bubbly and optimistic, while Elsa's was scared and shy, but so full of love for her sister and Olaf. And that ever present, mysterious fear.

All that I noticed about it at that moment, though, was the pain that she was feeling. It was so intense, so raw and full of grief and guilt, that it stopped me dead. Without thinking I turned towards it. Even the fact that I had to climb over a fence to get into the park didn't matter. It barely even registered. The words that I had said to Jon came back to me:

_It's part of who I am – that I can help people, that I can fix what goes wrong in their minds! She's hurt and she's scared and you can't ask me not to do anything about it!_

I slowed down as I approached her. My hand automatically went for my phone, but I had no idea what to 'say'. She wasn't crying, I noticed. All of that pain and she wasn't crying. I swallowed nervously. Might as well start from the beginning.

"_Hey." _She jumped and turned around, brushing tears away. Okay, maybe I was wrong about the not crying.

"Taelor?" She sounded surprised; she hadn't expected anyone to find her. I felt cold anger grip my heart. How many times had she done this? How many times had she walked away and cried to herself silently, trying to comfort herself when she just felt so broken inside? And why did she feel like she didn't deserve comforting?

I paused. Picking up on some emotions is fine, but very private ones is less cool and I was getting dangerously close to the line.

"_You looked upset," _I told her, sitting down next to her on the bench. She turned away.

"It's nothing to worry about," she said quietly. I tried to calm my growing fury. How many times had she said this to someone and they had believed her? _Never again,_ I vowed.

"_Not telling me would worry me more." _I cursed the fact that my phone had an emotionless voice and couldn't convey warmth and comfort. I gently touched her mind and sent a wave of warmth and the fact that I cared. The tension in her shoulders slowly vanished.

"I argued with Anna," she admitted shakily. "She was worried about me, and I disagreed, and it just escalated from there." I didn't think that this was a problem, but clearly she was very upset over it.

"_I'm sure she knows that you didn't mean it," _I told her.

"But..what I said..." The tears were falling again.

"_What you said isn't unforgivable." _

"How do you know that?" she asked, some of that signature iciness in her voice again. I smiled.

"_I've said some pretty bad stuff to Jon over the years when I was annoyed with him. He always forgave me for it. He's said some pretty mean stuff to me as well, but I let that past. Why shouldn't Anna?"_

"You make it sound so easy," she said, regret and pain in her voice, and even more so in her mind.

"_It is. We're brothers." _That just set her off crying again. Mentally swearing, I gently touched her shoulder. It seemed to have no affect. I sighed. This time the tears didn't look like they were going to stop any time soon. I did the mental equivalent of taking a deep breath and gathered her up in my arms, patting her back and letting her cry into my shoulder.

At first it just seemed to make her more scared, and I could feel something in the back of her mind telling her that she shouldn't be touching me, that she was dangerous and didn't deserve to be comforted. I ruthlessly squashed it, and the tears came in bucket loads. What seemed to worry her the most was that she had _wanted _to hurt Anna. I frowned. Wasn't that why arguments happened? You were in a bad mood, and they did something, or said something (or on one particular occasion just sat there) which set you off and that was it.

I didn't know how long we sat there for, but eventually her tears stopped and she seemed to notice where she was. She immediately moved away from me. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to–" I raised a hand, stopping her apologies.

"_It doesn't matter. I'm just glad that I was able to help." _I paused, wondering if I should say something to counter what I'd found in her mind. I decided that it couldn't hurt. _"I remember an argument I had with Jon. What scared me the most was the way that I just wanted to hurt him so badly." _She turned to look at me, something fragile in her eyes.

"_He was worrying needlessly over my lack of a job and I'd just had it. I made some rude remarks about the way he never worked for anything and he responded with how I just wasn't trying, and I snapped. I wanted to make him hurt for saying that, for thinking that. I wanted to take him down a peg. I was in a bad mood anyway and he was just needlessly worrying. When I realised what I'd said, that was what scared me the most – the way that I'd wanted to hurt him."_

"I felt so terrible when I realised what I'd done," she said, not looking at me. "We were separated for a long time when we were younger and we've only just started acting like sisters again. It was my fault, and I felt so guilty for hurting her and I promised that I would never hurt her again, but now.." She looked ready to cry again, so I stepped in.

"_You needn't feel guilty, Elsa. Did you mean to hurt her when you were separated?" _She shook her head, but something in her mind screamed about protecting her sister. _"Then it was unintentional, and you needn't make up for it." _She shook her head again, and I could feel an old hurt well up inside her, a hurt that she had learned to hide so well that it had escaped even me.

"I felt terrible when I hurt her," she whispered, and I got the feeling that she wasn't talking about their argument any more, but some older incident. I felt an absurd desire to stand up and protect her from whatever was hurting her, but I knew that I could do nothing to help her. This incident was in her past and the past was forever barred from tampering, however noble.

I stood and was about to suggest that we leave and I walk her home, when I felt her fear spike. She shot up, looking at me, her hands over her mouth. "No, no, no, no..."

"_Elsa! What's wrong?" _I demanded, but she did nothing but back away, still repeating that one word.

I looked down at myself frantically and spotted it. My shoulder where Elsa had been crying was covered in snow. I looked at Elsa again. That had upset her? Sure, it was the middle of spring, but still...

I paused as memories unfolded in her mind, memories that I knew I shouldn't look at, memories of ice and snow and _"Do you want to build a snowman?"_, and finally her fear was explained. In that one, blinding instant, I understood.

Elsa could somehow make snow and ice.

She wasn't afraid of me. She was afraid of hurting me. I moved towards her, ready to reassure her of the ridiculousness of that notion, when I realised something else as well.

Elsa was like me.


	9. Fear

_Still Tuesday_

I couldn't believe what I had done.

_No..._

All that time hiding it from him, all of that effort, wasted.

_No..._

I could do nothing other than back away from him, repeating that phrase over and over again, that denial of what had happened.

_No._

_Please, please, no._

He looked at me, puzzled, and I felt my heart shatter even more, knowing that I would soon have lost him as well.

He hadn't realised, I noticed as I stood, trapped by his gaze, those bright emerald eyes that I had noticed a lifetime ago.

He saw that my gaze was fixed on him, and he looked down.

He saw it; the snow that covered him from where my control had finally abandoned me. How could I have broken down like that? Look what had happened because of it.

One moment of weakness was all it took; a lesson you'd think I didn't need to spend the rest of my life learning.

He looked at me again – he had such expressive eyes, I noticed – with amazement on his face, fumbling for his phone. _"Elsa?" _he asked. I didn't reply. _"Elsa?" _he repeated. _"Did you do this?"_

I nodded, eyes downcast, waiting for the shock, the horror, the fear.

Instead I was lifted off my feet as he swung me around in a wild hug, a huge grin on his face. "What?" I gasped, but he didn't notice.

"_I knew it!" _he said, and, although the voice of his phone was emotionless as ever, I could almost hear the exultant triumph in that voice.

"K-knew what?" I stammered. He had known? How had he known?

"_I knew that there must have been others like me!" _

I was shocked into silence. The effect that that had on me is beyond description. He was like me? I had always believed that I was alone, but here was someone who could also create ice and snow. I felt a smile work it's way onto my face, half at Taelor's grin and half at the triumph in my own heart. Then he paused, and turned to me, now completely serious.

"_I'm not exactly like you, though," _he said. I frowned.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"_I..." _he paused, and I felt cold fear grip my heart once more. _"I cannot create ice and snow as you can," _he said slowly, as though he feared my reaction, a fear I understood completely. _"My powers go in a different direction." _I smiled.

"What can you do then?" I asked, my heart still full of this triumph I felt. He paused, and again I felt that strange surety that he was fearing my reaction, a fear that puzzled me as much as I understood it.

_This. _At first I didn't understand, and then I realised that his hands were holding mine tightly and his gaze hadn't faltered from mine. He hadn't touched his phone.

"Taelor?" I asked uncertainly.

_This is my talent – my gift._

He wasn't speaking to me. He couldn't be. And yet I heard his words as clearly as I heard Anna. This fact was undaunted by the equally true fact that I hadn't heard his words. I just knew them. I listened to him without hearing him.

And it terrified me.

_Elsa? _He asked.

* * *

"You can read minds?" she demanded, pulling her hands out of mine. I frowned.

_I wouldn't call it that, exactly... _I temporized, but it was too late. All she could hear was her own fear.

"Have you read mine? Are you reading it now?" her voice was rising in a panic I didn't understand.

_I have, kind of, but – _

"What about privacy?" she demanded. I gestured helplessly, noticing the frost growing beneath her feet.

_I try to respect the privacy of others, yes – _

"Try? _Try? _What if they had something to hide?" I sighed in frustration, running my hands through my hair. How did you explain the structure of the mind to someone who was so obviously close to hysterics, as demonstrated by the sudden appearance of snow?

_You don't understand, Elsa. Please, listen to me. It's not what you think, _I pleaded, trying to get her to stop, to calm down, to listen, but she was backing away, fear in her eyes again. Only this time, it was fear of me.

I felt my heart crack at that fear I could see, and the fear that was rising in her heart, the fear I felt as my own. She turned and ran, through the now-thickly-falling snow.

_ELSA! _I shouted. I knew she heard it. I heard it resonate in her mind, felt it tug on frozen heart-strings. She ignored me, and quickly vanished.

I fell to my knees, wishing now more than ever that I had a voice to shout with, to scream with. I could have run after her, but what good would it do? She had reacted as I had always feared – with fear and horror and not taking even a moment to listen.

Could she not see that my power was the same as hers – that it could be used to help as well as to hurt? That it was not necessarily evil, nor was I for wielding it.

I turned my face up to the sky and mentally cursed in every language that I knew.

Then I got to my feet. I turned the way Elsa had gone, and stared after her, as though the longing in my eyes, as though the intensity in my gaze, could bring her back.

Then I sighed, turned and slowly trudged through the snow, hands hanging by my sides, staring at nothing but the ground in front of me, with my heart shattering into a thousand splinters in my chest.

I hadn't realised how much her good opinion had meant to me, but the fear in her eyes! It haunted me, that terrified, wide-eyed, _fear._

* * *

**I'm not sure about this chapter. Let me know what you think?**


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